In the 10 years that I have lived in Italy, I have learnt a few things. These include my inability to learn Italian and the Italians inability to learn anything about customer service.

Italian Customer Service
In 2013 I cried into my cappuccino with the Fedex Farce. and of course you know about the fun and games with Mr Cretino and my driving licence.
I hate to tell you but TNT Express are as bad if not worse than Fedex. Mind you I have just found out they are now part of the same organisation run by David Binks their CEO. I did write to Mr Binks, but he didn’t reply to me nor did his organisation answer my questions.
So here we go… a little story book for you.
I am sorry this is not as funny as my usual posts, but I am still a tad disappointed with TNT
All the best Pecora Nera
Actually it is funny but I can relate to your exasperation- been there and done that as they say. Poor service is more than the pits but when you wrote that one could walk faster- well that is funny and I’m pretty sure that’s no stretch of the imagination. Well, maybe a wee bit?
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No, really 1/2 a kilometre an hour is tortoise speed. A man walks at about 3 km an hour
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Oh, ok. I believe you now. Just didn’t know all those walking speeds. Actually the tortoise is going quite fast for something that is otherwise cumbersome looking. I suppose looks, as is the case in just about everything, is deceiving. Some days I don’t feel up to 1/2 kilometres an hour. Eventually, on a good day, I can get up “to speed.” 🙂
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I feel your pain…Since we have been back in the UK we have been shocked by the delivery service from almost any company. They send you constant text messages…’your parcel will arrive between 12.00 and 13.00 hours today,’ or ‘your driver Ben is now 10 minutes away,’ and so it goes on. It is such a novelty for us. After nine years in Italy so many parcels were never delivered because they didn’t want to come into the centro storico, or they were just left anywhere in Petritoli and somebody would let us know where. One parcel my daughter sent from Australia which was a birthday present, I had to pay 40 euro import tax at the post office to retrieve it and the top she sent only cost 30 aussie dollars! Finally, a disc with photographs on from a wedding was sent somewhere in Milan and never realeased! Ah well…there are some things I miss about Italy…mainly the sunshine and the wine…:)
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At the moment we don’t even have the sun, we are blanketed with thick fog.
Hopefully spring is just around the corner.
Are you enjoying the UK?
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Yes, we are actually. We have a small cottage in Dorset which is cosy in the winter and the sun in the garden in the summer. We will be back in Italy for the whole of September. We miss some of the friends we made there but have settled here quite quickly. There’s a lot of ‘literary’ stuff going on locally which I’m enjoying a great deal…something I missed in Italy, theatre, open mike and stuff like that…my Italian was never good enough to attend the cinema or theatre…sadly. 😦
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And this sort of thing is why I like being back in the U.S. I loved so much about living in Italy, but the “boh” attitude drove me nut!
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The amazing thing is a multi national company can function normally everywhere else, just not in Italy
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Italy is special.
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Got wine, sunshine and mosquitos, they just have to learn the concept of customer service
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In Oregon we have expensive wine, rain, and great customer service. It’s so hard to pick! Actually we miss a lot about Italy but not 3 hour afternoon closures.
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it is funny and uber frustrating at the same time. so, so, so annoying!!
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Both Fedex and TNT are the same, I normally use DHL who are professional
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Ha, ha! But you made it very cute with the pictures and the vocabulary builders. I wonder about your math, though. You said that the package was sent back and forth to Belgium. Should this be included in the final equation? I, too, have seen packages bop around Italy and Europe after arriving in Milan – completely incomprehensibly. 4 boxes filled with the exact same items leaving London together somehow arrive in Milan and then take crazy, separate routes, eventually arriving in Calabria on different days even though one lump sum was paid for the shipping. I think they do this so that when a package finally arrives, while you might be very angry, you are also so thankful.
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There was two parcels, I think one was sitting in Milan Linate and the other was sitting in Belgium, but because they had the same tracking number it looked like they were both bouncing to and from Belgium. This is pure speculation because no one from TNT would answer their E-Mails
I had a little fun finding the pictures for the book
😂😂
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You are indeed an inspired man, to present your tale of frustration in such a clever manner. I hope your customer, waiting for the urgent and important parcel, understood the cause of the delay, i.e., not you.
Out of curiosity, how long did it take the pumps to get from you to the customer in France? I guess they are water type pumps, not the kind that go on feet? Or, am I wrong yet again?
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when I told my customer his water pumps, had arrived in Italy, but TNT wouldn’t answer my E-Mails, I don’t think he really believed me. To be honest it is unbelievable …. unless you live in Italy.
I used BRT to send the pumps to Paris and the arrived the following day.
I should upload the photo of the parcel, it looks like TNT had used it to play football
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In a brilliant touch of ironic juxtaposition, WordPress recommended this post just below yours: https://juangbrown.wordpress.com/2016/05/27/fedex-acquires-tnt-express-means-better-delivery-in-europe/
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Ha ha ha Really!
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I’m sorry, that is hilarious.
I have my own bone to pick with the Italian postal service (*ring gong of doom*). My lovely mum, who lives in the Southwest US, every so often sends a gift package. The last one was sent by mum mid-December and arrived, apparently, mid-January.
The lovely (heavy sarcasm) postal service sent me a letter with an attached customs form, that I had to fill out, stating the market value of the package contents. Oddly enough, they attached a photo copy of the packing list, which very clearly stated that there was homemade fudge and nuts, though, as this was written in English, it was apparently too much for the Italian PS to handle.
Since I have been living in Italy for so long, almost 30 years, I knew exactly how to get to the bastard’s heartstrings, I wrote both on the form and in the accompanying email that they were homemade gifts from the “nonna” for Christmas and that the market value was nil, but that I marked it at €5 because the form clearly stated that the market value cannot be nil.
All this because the last time I had recieved a package from Mum, I had to pay €40 for customs, which was more than the value of the contents, of course.
Anyway, as I didn’t recieve any reply or notice of the package having made its way to Bologna, I finally rang Customer Service in Milan (and boy howdy is it difficult to locate THAT number on the website), explained my case and the nice gentleman tracked it right away to my more or less local post office.
So I armed myself with all the documentation for the package, went to the post office, got my number and proceeded to wait. And wait, And wait.
I finally got my package, that was a little worse for wear, after about 45 minutes waiting time, and had NO customs fees to pay. It was a Christmas miracle in January. La nonna é sempre la nonna.
My advice would be to have anyone sending you a package from outside of Europe first send the package to another EU country and from there send it to Italy. It may sound crazy, but at least there is no risk of having to pay the damn customs fees.
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Poste Italia have mastered the art of losing parcels. My father in Law sent 3 parcels to the UK and Poste Italia lost all of them.
I paid €60 to send a parcel using a ‘promised’ three day delivery. It arrived four weeks later.
I have used Fedex, they drive my parcel around Northern Italy for 5 days before they delivered it. TNT … lost for words and of course the dire Poste Italia.
So far DHL and BRT are the only couriers I would trust
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I once used that three-day delivery “service” for my US tax returns – to Vicenza, from Bologna – and it arrived about a week later. Thank God it was just in time for my tax person to send the documents off to the US. I think that the service cost me €10 and some new grey hair.
Never again.I think that the next time I will just hop on a train and bring it straight to Jim’s door.
Wouldn’t he be suprised!
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I think the big problem is, people expect and accept poor service in Italy. If you have lived in the USA, UK of some of the other European countries for example German…. it comes as a huge shock.
Earlier today I tried to drop my laptop off at the local computer shop, unfortunately their shop is closed for lunch from 11:30 to 14:30 😱
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I found it absolutely hilarious 😉 Love the storybook format! Glad you got your package in the end – guess you won’t be using TNT any time in the future 😉
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I am about to twitter them a photo titled Which parcel did you send 😜
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Send them this blog post – and next time, maybe you should walk to Milan Linate. You’ve proven it would be faster 😉
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It would have been faster to walk there and back….
I will good idea 😂
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Just applying some German logic 😉
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I normally use DHL, they are very professional, with their help we have all the documentation in place before the delivery arrives in Italy….
I get the feeling that TNT Milan Linate are disorganised and when they hit a problem they bury their heads in the sand and hope it goes away.
I know they received my initial E-Mail, because they eventually used it to reply to me….. #gobsmacked #TNTapathy
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Oh how I hate when something like this happens. I remember back in Finland my parents had sent me a package. It took 1 1/2 days from Germany to Finland, it was just 22km from my home. From there it took another 13 whole days to arrive at my apartment…even a snail is quicker
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I don’t suppose it was TNT or maybe Fedex
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Ups
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I am very sorry for your trouble but this is the funniest thing I’ve read all year. In adversity there is comedy. For this we must be grateful!
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Thank you, I hope TNT find it amusing, I sent them a link via twitter and just for good measure, I sent a copy to DHL 😜
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I know the tale is not funny (I will now strike TNT off my list, along with Fedex) but I love your treatment of it – the Blacksheep Reading Scheme. 😀 😀
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I thought the Blacksheep reading scheme would appeal to your sense of humour
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🙂
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Oh HOW REFRESHING. IVE been living and working in Bari on a teaching contract for five months. (Nearly finished)…two presents have Just never turned up and I
Tried to help someone else get a letter from a sorting office with their documents and they refused me, even though I had all the things they had requested. I was dumbfounded. Reading this is the highlight of my day. Teaching Italian youngsters is something i never ever want to Repeat
. Good luck.
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Good Luck in Bari, where are you going next?
The postal and delivery services in Italy should either change their names to Acme Lose a Parcel or be sued under the trade description act
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At least it wasn’t poste Italia
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This is not TNT per se problem. It is any courier company in Italy problem. I totally understand you. In my line of business we need to use couriers and logistics companies all the time and it goes into a time warp whenever it reaches the borders of Italy. In EVERY SINGLE THING. Be it service, parcel or banking. It is like Italy exists only a different time plane.
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