August | 2023 | Englishman in Italy

Fräulein said,

It is going to be sunny today.

I am sure it is.

Well maybe it will be.

I wish I had her confidence in the German weather.

We have been in Northern Germany for a week and I can honestly say I haven’t seen so many pasty white legs since I was last in rainy Manchester.

Friday night Fräulein got all romantic and moved the bedroom into the garden.

What if it rains?

It won’t

Are you sure?

It didn’t rain during the night, but I woke up in a damp dew kissed bed.

In the morning we put the bedding and pillows on the garden table in the vain hope the insipid German sun might dry them enough so we could use them again.

Taking a nice promenade along the beach we met quite a few other mad people who thought walking in the wind and drizzle was good for their health. I am enjoying our German holiday but I am beginning to miss the sunshine and I am worrying about my Vitamin D intake.

Topping up Vitamin D with a stroll in the German sunshine

Fräulein has taught me a new phrase, ‘what is that ? – vot iz daz ?’ it is easy to remember because it sounds like an Englishman trying to speak German. . Fräulein pronounces it as Was ist das? ‘

This morning in our local cafe, I saw a German eating bacon and eggs !!! I could have hugged him. I have been surviving on croissants stuffed with ham with a mug of German tea. Boldly I marched over to him pointed at his breakfast and said ‘Vot iz Daz? ’ he looked at me strangely and then replied ‘Strammer Max’

Fräulein was laughing as I walked back to our table and demanded that she order me some bacon and eggs.

While I was eating my breakfast Fräulein told me, I had slept really well, this translates to I didn’t snore much last night so Fräulein slept well. Maybe it was sleeping in the fresh air of the garden..

This is really worrying, what if Fräulein decides I should move a bed to the garden and sleep more often out there, while she gets a good nights sleep in our bed..

And I am not over impressed with the German’s attempts at making English Tea. It tastes ok-ish, it is a bit weak and looks very strange. Is it normal for the milk to sink to the bottom ? Fortunately Fräulein can make a proper mug of English tea.

Today is Sunday, so we are chilling in the garden, tomorrow Fräulein has some German bureaucratic things to deal with, then we are heading home, with a stop off at Therme Erding, the largest spa in Europe.

Over the past couple of days Fräulein and I have been discussing taking a mini break somewhere, just a week to relax and recharge our batteries before our hectic work schedules restart. Yesterday Fräulein was watching a documentary about Greece and their cuisine and cute houses, she was quite animated and excited, obviously I was quite interested in the local beverages and the warm blue sea.

A week sitting next to the beach drinking ouzo with the occasional swim sounded perfect. In fact I was really taken by the idea. I started planning which clothes I should take. Shorts, knotted white hanky, grey socks to wear with sandals, the usual things an Englishman takes to the beach.

And then she came up with another exotic destination for our mini break… Lübeck! With the little dots over the letter ‘U’ it was beginning to sound a little German. You will need to pack a jumper, she told me, it can get a little chilly in the evenings. With huge excitement she added, “We can go swimming in the Baltic Sea.”

Hmm! So I won’t need the knotted hanky, but probably a good supply of goose fat.

A liberal coating of goose fat is needed before entering the Baltic Sea

I tried to explain to Fräulein that we have an English expression namely ‘It’s a bit Baltic my dear’ this is used when the weather is bitter and cold. The kind of day when it is better to sit in front of the fire and listen to the wind howling outside, whilst dreaming of a summer holiday drinking ouzo on a hot Greek beach. I even sent her the following photo to prove I wasn’t kidding.

I have decided not to pack my swimming trucks, knotted hanky and shorts, my case will be full of jumpers, thick trousers and my new swimming costume that will hopefully arrive before we leave on Tuesday. I will need a lot of German Schnapps to keep me warm.

I hope you have a nice WARM holiday planned or are already enjoying a nice holiday on a sun kissed beach, Ok I am off to find my scarf and woolly hat.