Man Flu and the Injection


A couple of months back, Mrs Sensible was poorly sick and dying and horrors upon horrors, she phoned the school and told them she would not be teaching the little chilblains how to tie their shoelaces and how not to pick their noses.

No picking your nose in Mrs Sensibles classroom

I was immediately despatched to the doctors to pick up a sick note and deliver it to the school admin. I tried to protest by saying “it can wait until you are better” and “it’s flipping cold outside”.

Mrs S was having none of it, She explained that by law a teacher must submit a sick note on her first day of sickness. I was of course scoffing, tutting and raising my eyes to heaven. What if you are really really sick and your husband isn’t at home? What then, eh! Eh!

My doctors English language skills are about as good as my Italian. We can say hello, goodbye and the rest we get by with miming and a mixture of English and Italian words. 

If I wasn’t so good at miming, I might have to learn the language.

The doctor wrote out the sick note and then produced a fully functioning needle and syringe, I winced as he mimed how to give the injection into the upper arm. He showed me it should be injected at a 90 deg angle, not a 45 deg or even 30 deg. 

The first thing I did was made sure I was not the intended recipient of the object of torture, once I realised it was for Mrs S I started to relax. 

“You like I give needle to Mrs Sensible”

“It’s not difficult, just make sure you get the angle correct”

“Today!”

“No, it is to protect her against influenza, give it to her when her cold has cleared up”

“Sorry I no understand, talk again”

“Next week”

“Oh, Ok”

The weapon of mass destruction

When I arrived home I explained to Mrs S about the syringe, I said she had to drop her knickers and bend over so I could give her the injection. 

It took her a full 2.5 milliseconds to realise my bedside manner was not fully kosher, she looked at me in her school marm way and asked what the doctor really said. 

I think I would make a great doctor

So I told her what the doc said, or at least what I thought he had said and then added that there was no way I was going to stab her with the needle, I don’t like receiving injections and I am not going to start giving them…

It has since been explained to me that there is always somebody in the family who is a dab hand at giving injections.

To be honest, Italy never ceases to amaze me.

PS, Why am I writing this now and not when it happened? Because I have man flu and the syringe is still sat in our fridge, waiting for an aunt or needle friendly neighbour to turn up for a coffee and DIY hospital treatment. 

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44 thoughts on “Man Flu and the Injection

  1. Sorry about the man flu, nothing a few glasses of wine can’t cure I am sure. What amazes me is that the Dr. would give you the shot to take home and administer later. I can’t even begin to imagine that happening here in the states. Wow!

    Like

    • Or in the UK, when I married Mrs S, she moved into our new house with a medical kit that Doctors Sans Frontieres would be proud of. In the container there was two syringes and needles, just in case she needed a shot of medicine.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Okay, the willingness of Italian doctors to freely hand out needles is something I just cannot wrap my head around. I’m terrified of needles when I know they’re going to be given by someone properly trained/qualified… The thought of anyone else approaching me with that thing makes my blood run cold. (Which is why I turned down the flu shot when it was suggested to me that the best way of getting it would be to buy it myself at the pharmacy and then get my very much non-medical-trained fidanzato to inject me…)

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Oh PN you always make me laugh. Nothing to giving a shot (in the arm or the butt). Practice on an orange. Really that’s how we learned in nursing school and then we had to give each other shots of sterile water as our nun instructor watched.

    Anyhoo, get well soon from the man flu. It does make one feel crappy, more or less. πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

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