Mrs Sensible is often asked why she married me, this normally happens when her friends notice I am wearing my beloved flip-flops, instead of some very expensive designed shoes. Today I will tell you how I met Mrs Sensible.
Nice but I l prefer my flip flops
On Monday 17th February 2003 * I walked into Maso Italian Restaurant in Sheffield and guess who our waitress was, none other than the beautiful Mrs Sensible. I was dinning with friends from work and so I was on my best behavior. The food was great, but I hardly noticed the grilled salmon with king prawns, followed by pana cotta or the glass of tobato that accompanied the meal, because I infatuated with our waitress.
So infatuated, that I returned the following day to the restaurant and ordered peppered steak with a side salad of greens, gelato for desert and of course a glass of tobato. The delightful Mrs Sensible was once again my waitress. As I dreamily gazed across the restaurant and watched Mrs Sensible clear a table or serve somebody else, I decided to ask her out on a date, maybe not tonight but definitely as soon as I had plucked up enough courage. … The following night was a complete disaster, the food as always was wonderful, the wine was great and the owner introduced me to the pleasure of Grappa, but Mrs Sensible was nowhere to be seen, it was her day off .
Pecora Nera is devastated that Mrs S in not working
Over the following three weeks I managed to accomplish a number of things, 1) I had eaten every possible combination of dishes from the menu. 2) I had worked out the staff rota and booked a table only when I knew Mrs sensible was working. 3) I almost plucked up enough courage to ask her out.
Eventually I asked Mrs S out on a date, as I waited with bated breath for her reply, she told me it wasn’t possible as she needed to wash her hair.
Mrs Sensible at home washing her hair
Later that week I tried again and asked her to come for a meal with some friends of mine, she didn’t know that I had asked my friend to arrange the meal with the sole purpose of inviting Mrs S. The meal was great, the wine was fantastic and as I sat talking with my friends, Mrs S was sat at her house, once again washing her hair…… I knew this situation could not continue. Eating at Maso Restaurant 3 to 4 times a week was playing havoc with my bank balance and my waist line.
One evening Mrs S told me she was flying back to Sicily, nice I said, when are you going and more importantly when will you return? She told me she was leaving at the end of the month and she didn’t think she would return…….. I had less than thirty days to woo Mrs Sensible and the clock was ticking.
Pecora Nera had 27 days to woo Mrs Sensible
When Mrs S brought me my glass of grappa, I once again asked her to go out for a meal with me, I explained that she was leaving in less than 27 days and taking her for a meal was just my way of saying goodbye. Amazingly Mrs S agreed, she told me she missed pizza cooked in a wood fired oven, if I could find a pizzeria that has a wood fired oven she would eat there with me.
A proper pizza oven
Over the next 24 hours I phoned every pizzeria in Sheffield and Rotherham. Everyone said, no we use gas / electric but our pizza is great. I widened my search to include Leeds, Chesterfield, Barnsley, York, Hull and Grimsby all to no avail. In desperation I drove to Maso and told Mario about my quest. He laughed and laughed and laughed some more. As we shared a bottle of Ichnusa (one of the finest bottled beers) he explained that wood burning pizza ovens are illegal in the UK and Mrs Sensible knew!
Have you any idea, how many Pizzerias there are in Yorkshire, Nottinghamshire and Linconshire, that don’t have wood burning ovens?
Appealing to Mrs Sensible’s better nature, I declared the quest null and void and told her she had cheated. Eventually with 25 days before she flew home, I managed to convinced Mrs S to have a meal with me at a fantastic traditional Italian restaurant. I explained that all the staff were Italian and although the ovens were gas-fired, the food was wonderful.
Finally after three months of wooing Mrs Sensible we were finally on our first date, as Mrs Sensible talked to the waiter in Italian, I ask my dad to pass the wine. I caught the tail end of the waiters conversation with Mrs S, it went something like this “ no no I am Spaniard, the owner is Spanish, we are all Spanish, the food is Italian but we are all Spaniards.
Did I forget to mention that Mrs Sensible brought a chaperon to the restaurant and I had to phone my dad to see if he would make up a foursome……
* Mrs Sensible told me the date.
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Englishman in Italy 