Last week was Carnival in Italy, unfortunately I slept through it, I was suffering from a bad case of man flu. I cancelled all my lessons and decided to spend the week being nursed by Fräulein.

Actually, I thought I had cancelled all my lessons, however it seems I forgot to cancel a lesson. I realised my mistake when I received a rather terse WhatsApp message from a teacher. She used words such as, molto dispiaciuto and perché! I didn’t need to use google translate to realise I was yet again in deep trouble.

Today I went back to school to work with Class 1 children aged 6. They are a special class who work hard and we have now finished their workbooks, so now I either have to design some interesting lessons so they don’t realise we are repeating work they have already done (read revision for the above sentence ) or I can start getting them ready for next year, which is way more fun.

Between lessons I wandered downstairs to apologise to the teacher I forgot to message whilst I was on my death bed. She made me apologise again and stoop my head in shame. I felt like one of the donkeys in Class 2 that I was due to teach in five minutes time..

Class 2 have been an ‘interesting’ class to teach. Interesting being the best adjective to use for class 2. I have tried various methods of trying to control my lovely Class 2 and have settled on the carrot and stick approach with them. If they complete the work and I don’t have to glare at them, they receive a star in their books. The stick is they will have to listen to a 5 minute talk about respect and behaviour after the bell has gone. The head teacher has resolved her problem of losing her voice whilst teaching class 2 by purchasing a small portable speaker, slung around her waist.

I refuse to shout in class, I prefer to scare them silly by staring at them or talking in a deep low voice using a language they don’t really understand…. English. I think the fear of the unknown is more fun and besides if I decided to use a speaker to raise my voice, I would go out and buy the type of megaphones the police use during civil unrest.

My heart goes out to all my teacher friends, roll on the summer holidays