Tips for the intrepid tourist

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The Cosi Group are a pretty impressive group of sensible bloggers. I am still amazed that they invited this Pecora Nera (black sheep) to join them.  Their recent posts on travel tips for tourists visiting Italy was awesome. Here are my travel tips for the intrepid traveler to Italy.

There is an art to packing a suitcase, you will need to find space for your swimsuit (unless you are visiting Cinque Terre where there is a nudist beach) your summer frock for when you are visiting the pizzeria and of course if you are visiting me you will need to pack 2 family packs of Walkers crisps, a jar of Branston Pickle and some books.

Only pack essential items

Only pack essential items

You have probably used a couple of weeks of your holiday entitlement and spent part of your savings to visit Italy, and there is plenty in Italy to see, so on the run up to your holiday get as much rest as possible so that when you start your holiday you will have plenty of energy to enjoy the excitement of flying with Sleazyjet EasyJet.

Mrs Smedhurst of Bridlington fainted with the excitement of flying with Easy Jet

Mrs Smedhurst of Bridlington fainted with the excitement of flying with Easy Jet (Don’t worry she woke up when my camera went CLICK)

I am often asked if I use the low cost airlines for my trips to and from the UK and what are the differences between them. On Saturday I flew to Gatwick with Sleazyjet Easyjet and returned from East Midlands with Crying Air Ryanair. The big difference between the two airlines is, one uses orange planes and the other uses blue ones.

When flying with one of the low budget airlines, you must remember you will be sat cheek to jowl with  others who can’t afford British Airways who enjoy flying budget airlines. Space is very limited and so make sure you make yourself as comfortable as you can.

Make yourself as comfortable as you can, even if it makes others barf.

Make yourself as comfortable as you can, even if it makes others barf. (sorry for the blurred photo but I was giggling at the time)

When you land you will be ushered into the nearest cattle bus to transport you from the plane to the airport, please remember personal hygiene is a must. I have never considered Old-spice or Brut cologne to be nice, however there are times it smells 100 times better than 60 people who have just flown in a cramped airplane and are now crammed into a bus waiting in 35° heat on the airport tarmac.

Help

Unfortunately I didn’t manage to capture the woman who was suffocating in her winter coat.

When you finally arrive in Italy, please remember to sample the traditional local food. Don’t go wandering around looking for a fish and chip shop, there isn’t one. I know this because I have spent the past seven years trying to find one. Last weekend when I visited England I had a perfect opportunity to sample the delights of traditional English food.

I spent the weekend eating enjoying traditional English food, KFC, Tandori Chicken and this fine Chicken curry and rice

I spent the weekend eating enjoying traditional English food. KFC, tandori chicken and this fine chicken curry and rice

You will have read that Italy is the fashion capital of the world. We take fashion very seriously, whenever I leave the house in my flip-flops Mrs Sensible goes crazy and demands that I either wear proper shoes, change my jeans for shorts or stay at home. According to Mrs S, flip flops are suitable footwear for the beach or if you are wearing shorts. Wearing jeans and flip flops is a no-no. Obviously you can completely ignore this advice. (I do)

And man-bags are worn by lots of men, so if you want to get in touch with your feminine side, now is your chance. Obviously you need to be careful or you might end up featuring on somebodies blog as this poor man has.

How not to wear a man bag

How not to wear a man bag

As we have already pointed out, you have spent your hard earned cash to come to Italy and you expect to have a good time. In England wine, beer and cider are normally associated with having a good time, please try to get to the hotel room before you start celebrating your holiday.

Burp

At least he was wearing shorts with his flip flops

In Italy we can normally spot an English tourist because they are as white as freshly fallen snow, which then goes to a nice rosy red. Some of you may have used the local sun beds and will be a nice orange colour.  We have wall to wall sunshine, please use lots of suntan lotion or you will burn.

The following is a good example of before and after effects of suntanning.

White bits

White bits

And finally feel free to wear the clothes you are most comfortable in, after all it is your holiday

Be yourself

Be yourself

This post is part of the latest topic of our little blogger group, COSItaly, on how to be a good tourist/cool summer tips. Check out facebook page

And finally the first COSI Video…. I was too shy to add my old wrinkled face.

37 thoughts on “Tips for the intrepid tourist”

  1. Buon giorno! Your post today provided me with much needed laughter as I prepare to go to work! The white bits photo made me laugh out loud… Bentornato! I missed your posts!

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    • Clothes and shoes are very important here. After walking around a museum in Sicily I decided my feet were tired, as we walked along the pavement I slipped my flip flops off and walked barefoot. A child pointed at my feet and asked his mother why the man had no shoes on. Children are taught ftom an early age not to walk barefoot and also it would seem not to wear jeans and flip flops

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  7. I’m forwarding this directly to my classmate (from my Italian class) who will be visiting Italy in August. I’ve already asked him to leave his Hawaiian shirts at home but I forgot to mention the flip flops. Luckily we aren’t quite attached to string vests and handkerchiefs knotted on our heads….at least not in my part of the country.
    Glad you are back in form!!

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  9. I love the string vest chap – reminds me of the year my Dad was burnt through his string vest and was covered in lots of little red diamonds of sunburn!!! V funny for us kids, notsomuch for him!!!! ;o)

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    • Thanks Rick. Sorry about the blurred photo of the feet, but there is very little room on an Easy Jet plane. My left elbow was poking some old dears ear as I tried to twist around to take the photo add a bit of camera shake through trying to not giggle and the result is blurred feet

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  12. Pingback: 5 easy steps to becoming a good tourist in Italy | Unwilling Expat

  13. i loved this post and it was good to see you back on the blogosphere again. i hope you were wearing your flip flops when you wrote this piece. i tend to kind of live in mine.

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    • Hi Beth. Flip flops on and a glass of wine in my hand, is there any other way to write a post?
      I now have tintenet at home and I am wondering whether to do the police or the Facebook conversation with Telecom Italia. Mmmm

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  15. Pingback: Visiting Italy this summer? Tips from COSÌ! | Married to Italy

  16. Hi there, Great to find your blog….love this post. Had me giggling. Sounds like my flights! Here in China it’s very popular for large men to roll their t-shirt up so it’s under their arms. Very flattering. 😉
    Look forward to popping by again. Cheers, Nicole

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