Starvation Diet


Mrs Sensible is being a really, really good girl, she went to the dietician at the hospital this week and was awarded 10 Brownie points and 2 gold stars for being a really good girl and losing another 4 kilos. I on the other hand have not been particularly good and didn’t receive anything.

2 Gold stars for Mrs Sensible

2 Gold stars for Mrs Sensible

For dinner today Mrs Sensible fed me and our two guestaways a very healthy salad with a little bit of cheese and a little bit of fresh salmon and two peppers stuffed with rice. For some reason I only received one pepper. At about 4.00 pm Mrs Sensible left the house and I went in search of food.

I found a very large packet of crisps and decided to wash it down with one or two glasses of wine. Just as I was relaxing and feeling mellow and contented one of our workaways appeared in her running kit and said she was going for a run. I very nearly asked if I could join her, but sanity kicked in and I took another sip of my wine and another handful of crisps.

englishman in Italy

This red stuff helps to make me quite philosophical

Twenty minutes later, during my second glass of wine, guestaway number 2 appeared in her running kit and said she was going for a quick run; maybe it was the wine talking but I found myself asking if I could join her…….

How far do you go?

Oh about 45 minutes

Ah ha; do you run the full 45 minutes or do you also walk a little?

I might walk up hills it depends.

So I put on my Booby Charlton running shorts, turned on the Run keeper app on my phone and followed her out the door.

Ready in my Bobby Charlton Football Shorts

Ready in my Bobby Charlton Football Shorts

As soon as we got outside she started to do stretching exercises, it was at this point that I started to feel a little worried. As she bent over to touch her toes, I bent over and managed to touch my knee caps. As she stretched and put her chin on her knee, I stretched and managed to see my knee caps which seemed a long way away. And then we started running.

Pull that stomach in

Pull that stomach in

I know she is only 19 and in the prime of her life but ‘spiders’ how is it possible that she can run up our road and hold a normally conversation.

So how far do you normally run?

Gasp, pant, gasp, not much! pant gasp wheeze.

There is a really nice breeze, this is nice weather to run in.

Wheeze, cough, wheeze, Yes, cough wheeze pant.

I managed to stay with her all the way up to the cowsheds and then my internal organs started to close down and I suffered severe cramp in my left big toe and had to stop.

“Go Go” I managed to utter as she disappeared up the hill.

Feeling a little ashamed and very old I slowly turned around and half ran and half hobbled home.

My runkeeper app didn’t help me either, I am sure I heard it say “Oye old man get running” and “do you want to change the setting from run to walk slowly”

Tomorrow I have committed myself to another run, I just need to find out if workaway number 1 runs slower than workaway number 2, maybe I will quiz them over a glass of wine.

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55 thoughts on “Starvation Diet

  1. Keep up the good work!
    Is this at the new casa? Does Scooby Doo keep you company when you run? Oh, that is a silly question as he is probably snoozing under a lovely shrub somewhere.

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      • no silly—it’s like a stair climber kind of machine but it includes arm movement—-and I should have scolded you–what do you mean that some pretty little young things come along asking you to go along on a run—and you go?! Mrs Sensible should hit you on the head—I’m a little surprised after indulging in vino and crisps, added a good uphill jog, you didn’t throw up!
        And no, I didn’t need spandex after the elliptical 🙂

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  2. So, you’re saying it’s uphill both ways? Courage (said in a French accent), mon ami, you’ll show the world … something or other.

    No, I have to go and see if a ‘workaway’ is what I think it is, or is code for something more exciting.

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  3. Good news! Theory has it that stretching actually makes one more prone to injury. After all, one doesn’t see a cheetah stretching before belting after that gazelle, does one? So, feel better about not being able to touch your toes and confident that reaching into the back of the cupboard for that solitary packet of crisps stashed away by Mrs. Sensible is most unlikely to do you any harm. Well, not to your muscles, anyway.

    I love the fact that Italian medical care includes dieticians for healthy people. The country that excels in making endless courses of delicious food, no less. The irony’s not lost on me!

    p.s. Chasing after 19-year-olds is a bit Rod Stewart!

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    • Lol, While I was trying to reach my toes, the fact that my arms might have shrunk and my legs might have grown did cross my mind.

      The Italians are obsessed with health. Here we go to the doctor because we think we might be ill in the future.
      But unlike Rod Stewart I didn’t catch them

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  4. 4 kg? that is almost 9 (NINE) pounds! good for her. You yourself take it by easy steps – Mrs.S. loves you and wants you to be around forever. Spoken by an Italian who knows how indulgent the best Italian wives are. And she is a ‘BEST’ – don’t you agree?

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        • The scabby white cat was suffering from hair loss, we think he had founds some new friends called fleas. I have poured flea powder on him and we shall see if his hair stops falling out. I really don’t want a bald cat

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          • You can use some more easy and smart to avoid both the fleas and other damaging small insects. It is a pipette as you need to give him in his neck every month and then avoid both for him but also for you and your area. You can by those in pet-shops and from the vet. You may only give him this in the neck, because he can’t lick it of there. Hope he will get his beauty back fast 😀

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          • I had a nearly bald cat once. She pulled out (licked away) all the hair she could reach. The Vet said she suffered from what they called “baboon butt”….a nervous condition. Perhaps Scooby is afraid of being left behind.
            My cat’s fur did eventually grow back once she was calm and secure.
            If it is caused by the fleas he is probably allergic. As suggested the flea killer available from the Vet that is applied on the back of his neck once a month is a good idea. You can keep fleas out of your home with bunches of eucalyptus…the dried kind are okay if they don’t grow in your part of Italy. I get mine at a craft store (floral design section) although they probably don’t have one of those in your area….maybe a florist shop. Or maybe Yvonne could ship you some from Australia :-). Just a thought. And you don’t want those pesky little creatures hopping on and biting you and Mrs. S…..let alone the cat.

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            • It might be stress related. I am sure he knows we are moving and we haven’t given him a moving date yet.
              I use the liquid that you drop on his neck, but he immediately runs into the vineyard and rolls in the earth to try to get rid of it (stupid cat) . We prevent fleas from entering the house by keeping the scabby white cat outside.

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  5. Moving is never easy no matter what the distance. I once moved to a different apartment in the same complex and it was just as complicated as moving from one side of the United States to the other. You still have all that stuff that needs to be boxed up and moved.
    Moving the cat was a piece of cake in comparison….but then she knew she was going with us. The hours howling in the bathroom while the movers brought in the stuff….not so much fun. Wait….was that the cat or me?

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    • Ha ha ha. We still have a problem with The Cat. The house across owns him even if they don’t feed him or look after him. If we cat napped him I would need to be able to convince the authorities that he packed his bowl and bedding and followed us. I am 100% sure he will not last the winter on his own. I cant believe I am worrying over the scabby cat, I’m not even a cat loving type of person.

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      • My Australian friend didn’t think she was a cat person either….and now she has one of her own.
        They can attach themselves to you very easily….even ones that have been declawed (a very inhumane thing).
        Me, I’ve always been a cat person. My parents told stories of our cat in the bassinet with me when I was a baby.
        And no, do not box that cat up and send him to me. I’m already feeding six strays.
        Hope things work out in Scooby’s favor!

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  6. PN, go with them, but go by bike. You’ll have the satisfaction of a) going faster and b) being able to talk at the same time as c) taking exercise. Then you can reward yourself with a glass of wine. (Just the one, huh, and not in a pint glass). But put those crisps down and back away with your hands over you head, young man – they are bad news if you want to lose weight.
    I remember doing a “short” run with a PE teacher friend once – never again. She talked all the way and delivered me to my doorstep in a quivering heap with the ominous words “see you tomorrow”. Needless to say, the hell she did…

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    • Hi MM, I think I will take my Mini next time, that way I can eat a packet of crisps as I drive alongside them.
      Don’t you just hate these fit people who can jog and talk at the same time. After their run they look fit and healthy and discuss the endorphine rush they have just received. After my run I look knackerd and old and the only rush I am likely to get is in the back of an ambulance to the local hospital.

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  7. I hate jogging. It’s very bad for the knees and soooo boring! Walking, on the other hand, is much more enjoyable because you can chat, admire the scenery, or really concentrate on the audio book you’re listening to even if you’re marching along at a fair old pace. And you get to play with sticks if you have those snazzy walking sticks, and you get to look like an Alpine shepherd without the sheep and sing The Hills are Alive (sounds about right for where you live!). No contest!

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    • I enjoy walking, I walk from my front door to the car and also from the lounge to the kitchen in search of food.

      Those walking / ski sticks are interesting, they are a big hit in Italy, lots of old ladies have traded their zimmer frames in for them. In fact I wrote a post about them last summer http://wp.me/p2Ig3C-9x

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      • They are a big hit here too. I sometimes see groups of people setting off for a walk over lunch time near where I work. They all have those sticks and look very serious and business-like.

        I tend to go for a walk when someone else suggests it. 🙂

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