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Italian Customer Service

Italian Customer Service: Bang head on wall

My UK driving licence has finally expired. The grubby bit of paper the Italians gave me as a substitute, has also expired. My bicycle has a flat tyre.

I was told not to worry, that the temporary substitute licence had expired, as it is normal in Italy and the police will accept it is just another Italian cock up. The important thing, I was told, is to have with you the medical form, that proves you are fit to drive.

That kind of says everything there is to know about Italy.

Do you have a valid driving licence?  No

Do you have cervicale? mm maybe

Links to past driving licence fiasco

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Parts 4 to 349 will follow over the next 5 months, groan



52 thoughts on “No comment

  1. No problem. Before long, cars will be banned from the streets of the U.K. on health & safety and pollution grounds. We’ll all have to walk/run/crawl everywhere in future. I’m just hoping that we won’t need a licence for these things. Still, it’ll help you to lose weight. In India (according to an old programme of J. Clarkson) the driving test consists of a short drive forwards and a short drive backwards. That’s it. Perhaps you could fly to India and get a licence there? Any excuse for a spot of curry!


  2. Pooor PN. My French situation promises to follow suit; the nice lady equivalent of Mr Cretino is a month late on her applications. Don’t worry; it’s only the photo that’s out of date, not your licence. As long as you don’t run over any carabinieri, you should be fine 🙂 PS I’m making flap jacks in your honour – can you smell them?


    • I went for a run yesterday and now I can hardly walk 😦
      I shouldn’t have told Mrs Sensible that I was on a diet, because she tuts at me if I wander to close the wine bottle.


  3. oh, pecora…i was adding a sensible page with license info on it and i was wondering how this was all faring for you. sigh. i think i will be heading this very direction. television-sized p-plates perhaps for you too then…


  4. I like your post but not what is happening to you (or not happening) with your driver’s license. Congrats on losing a kilo. You should reward yourself with a glass of wine and some chocolate for every 5 kilos you lose 😉


  5. uffa mannaggia! guess you don’t want to emigrate to Deutschland uber alles, and try to get a licence there?.. 😦 food there is not so good like Italian food, so you might lose weight? 🙂


    • They are big meat eaters in Germany. When I had a valid driving licence I used to drive there. I guess the efficient Germans would organise a licence, in the time it took you to get buck naked for their sauna.


  6. What a quandary! I don’t envy your predicament with Italian Bureaucracy at all. If you’re lucky, you might just get your official Italian licence by 2020.


  7. Côme live in Montréal. We havé à décent bureaucracy (well, as decent as hellish can be) and we have lots of Italians. You’ll feel right at home. Plus we have French. And plenty of disgruntled Anglos.


  8. Life is full of good news, bad news, isn’t it? Good news about the kilo lost, but bad news you’re suffering on a diet (yes, buy a bike…). An Italian admin cock-up however isn’t actually news… 😀


  9. I think the solution is obvious. You need to make your OWN license, since the authorities are obviously in too much of an administrative crisis to do it for you. That’s what any sensible Italian would do. I’m sure I could get you a ready made fake license for about ten euros, if I start asking around a dodgy neighbourhood of Palermo. Almost everyone in Sicily does that. Nobody at all would have a driving license otherwise.

    Meanwhile, I think you’re making noble efforts on the diet, but whilst waiting for me to get you a backstreet license, you’ll probably lose heaps of weight walking along the pavement thumbing lifts everywhere. Restricting your food (and, more important, booze) intake would be overkill.


    • I take everything you have said on board, I also agree with you.

      When you organise my ‘Palermo’ driving licence can you also organise a new Passport as that expires in 3 years.

      All the best PN


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