Solipsism, or am I a figment of my own imagination.


This weekend was designated as a chocolate eating and a movie watching weekend. I ordered fresh supplies of chocolate and, armed with my trusty credit card, I purchased a selection of DVDs from Amazon.co.uk

Mrs Sensible likes British Costume Dramas

Mrs Sensible likes British Costume Dramas

Jewel in the crown

Another good film

The Good Life

This one was for me

Miss Jean Brodie

And just in case we ran out of movies I bought this one.

I thought I had prepared the weekend to the last detail. All the films were in stock and would be delivered on Friday afternoon. I now had an ample stock of dark chocolate for Mrs Sensible and an adequate stock of milk chocolate for me.

On Friday afternoon I left the office early and drove home. I waited and waited, occasionally I glanced out of the window in search of the delivery van. At 6.43 I received an e-mail from Amazon, explaining that SDA could not deliver my DVD’s because my address was incorrect. Now this is strange because SDA have delivered to my house before and the gas and electric bills always find me.

Everything became clearer when I tried to input the tracking number on the SDA website, because SDA is part of Poste Italia.  Poste Italia is the government-owned postal system that specialises in losing parcels and making grown men cry. I dropped a quick message to a blogging friend at Expat eye on Latvia and received the following.

useful advice

useful advice

I was quiet worried; just to make sure I wasn’t a figment of my own imagination,  I immediately pinched myself to see if I was real. I then ran outside to check that the house was still here and got a second opinion from Google maps.

My house exists

My house exists!!

They also found me.

So here I am, Saturday morning on a non Chocolate and film weekend. It has turned into a let’s clean the house weekend. Curse you SDA!!! Debbs at  Digging wiv Debb will be pleased because choosing between cleaning the house under the direct supervision of Mrs Sensible and planting some seeds in the vegetable plot I chose the latter. The race is now on, will the peas, lettuce and cucumber arrive before SDA find my house?

Please place your bets below.

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44 thoughts on “Solipsism, or am I a figment of my own imagination.

  1. phew!! for a moment I thought you were going to end the post saying that you don’t really exist, you’ve been impersonating a Pecora Nera all these months, telling us lots of strange Italian stories, when in fact you are called Ludwig Van de Sandenk and are posting from an internet cafe in Kuala Lumpur.
    Glad you’ve found something useful to do with your pecora paws today. 🙂

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  2. Hey, but at least you still get to eat the chocolate….. don’t you?

    Hmmmm …. I have had similar experiences with parcel delivery from Amazon here in Spain. You are not alone – they are not picking on you, in particular!

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  3. Your post made me laugh! I bet you don’t feel like laughing though – how annoying to be doing household/garden chores just when you thought chocolate and films were going to be the order of the day. At least you still have the chocolate – perhaps that is some small consolation.

    We had a parcel delivery hiccup yesterday too. A very important parcel was due to be delivered by UPS (Mr I’s supply of coffee!) yesterday but despite three of us being in the house and no music/TV/washing machine etc noises to mask the sound of the knock at the door, we found a card pushed through the door telling us that they had tried to deliver, and would try again on Monday. Of course, we will be out on Monday. Aaararghh.

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  4. And what a PERFECT weekend it would have been! I thoroughly approve of the DVD choices!! Hope you enjoyed your healthy fresh air 🙂 p.s. Your DVD choices suggest to me that you don’t actually exist, you’re just a figment of Mrs Sensible’s imagination.

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  5. They delivered your DVDs to my house, actually, even though SDA has often reassured me that my house doesn’t exist either. I enjoyed them immensely.
    I posted them on to you, but the latest I hear is that they have arrived in Kuala Lumpur where they are being checked for possible subversive immorality. After they have been approved they will be sent on to Milan, which will redirect them to you via my house again. Provided they can verify my claims that you really do exist.
    The real solution to this problem is to go out into the neighbourhood, intercept the SDA delivery man and bribe him with grappa and some of your surplus chocolate. Provided you reassure him these rewards will always be on supply whenever he has anything to deliver to you, you’ll never have any problems again.

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    • Thank you for the wonderful update.

      Can you please tell me if the Prime of Miss Jean Brodie has a happy ending. If it doesn’t I won’t need to chase and bribe the SDA man.

      many thanks

      Pecora (unhappy coz he aint got no DVD) Nera

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      • Oh dear, you’ve called my bluff. I haven’t actually seen Miss Jean Brodie. But I did read a brief plot summary online and nearly fell asleep before the end.
        Personally, I’d have skipped that DVD and bought a complete set of Dad’s Army instead. Plus extra Chocolate rations. But that’s me.

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        • I didn’t think of Dad’s Army, Mrs Sensible is a teacher hence The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie. I thought she might enjoy it.

          Because of the fiasco with the driving licence and the non arrival of the DVDs, Last night Mrs Sensible and I indulged in a little food and wine therapy. We went to a great wine cantina in the Monferrato hills. Hopefully the photos will be ok.

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      • Started in the afternoon which is never a good idea – but always seems like it at the time of course! Switched to vodka only when I got tired of beer 🙂 Your evening sounds much more civilised!

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  6. Pingback: Who am I? Expat, Immigrant or Zingero | Englishman in Italy

  7. Update:::: Email sent to Amazon.co.uk

    Dear Maibel E,

    My DVDs that I ordered from Amazon did not arrive over the weekend.

    I had hoped that Mrs Sensible and I could spend the weekend eating chocolate, which was ordered from the pasticceria, and did arrive, and watch DVDs ordered from Amazon which are currently still touring Italy.

    Please will you try and find my parcel. I am worried that if they do not arrive this week, I once again be forced to help Mrs Sensible, hoover and clean the house.

    Best regards
    Pecora Nera

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    • Ciao Sanfermo.

      I like your blog as it is. I like your beautiful pictures of Italy.

      But it would be interesting to hear an Italians point of view.

      I am sure England seems very strange to Italians. I would love to find a blog written by an Italian living in England.

      Buona Pasqua

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      • Ciao, Pecora Nera,
        I’ m sorry I can’t write a blog “living in England,from my Italian point of view…..”
        I’m stuck in Milan,now ,(having lived abroad many years,long ago) and I don’t think of moving.
        But , actually , England doesn’t seem strange to me,at all, and I wish I lived there!
        A big hug to Mrs Sensible,too!

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    • Ciao and welcome to my little corner of Italian Madness. You had cinghiale in your garden??? They are really tasty with polenta. I used a spray made from a little olive oil, water, crushed garlic and hot peppers. I stopped the caterpillars and bugs from eating my veg.

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      • Yes to the cinghiale! They are quite tasty, lol. They obviously get fed well in my garden too 🙂 the little buggers crawl under the fence…
        I’m like friggin’ Snow White…wildlife seek me out in droves and bats love me! Oh, and short men like to follow me too (just kidding).

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  8. Pingback: Friday Faves, Part 2 | Living Simply Free

  9. Thanks for visiting my blog! I’ve read your exchanges with Expat in Latvia … the two of you are so entertaining … especially for someone stuck in the armpit of the southern US 😉

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