I live in Piemonte Italy with my wife Mrs Sensible and my Italian – English dictionary.
Mrs Sensible emigrated to the UK to escape Italy, she then married me and I forced her against her better judgement to return to live in Italy.
The following telephone conversation, took place after Mrs Sensible had returned to Italy. I was still in the UK decorated our house. The intention was to sell the house and open a B&B in Italy. Unfortunately the UK bank crisis hit and the house didn’t sell.
(Me) Ok plan B I will rent out our house and take any job in Italy.
Mrs Sensible calmly and slowly pointed out my inability to understand or construct even the most basic sentence in Italian.
“You are married to an Italian.
Your two best friends are Italian.
And so far the only words you have learnt are:-
ciao, si, non, cosi cosi (so so)
and non e’ vero (not true).”
“Non e’ vero” I replied.
After 5 years, much to the despair of Mrs Sensible, I am still learning the language. I can now string enough words together to sometimes be understood, and when Italians do not understand my version of Italian I revert to finger-pointing and miming.
I will update this ASP (at some point)
Pecora Nera (Italian for Blacksheep)