A couple of months back, Mrs Sensible was poorly sick and dying and horrors upon horrors, she phoned the school and told them she would not be teaching the little chilblains how to tie their shoelaces and how not to pick their noses.
No picking your nose in Mrs Sensibles classroom
I was immediately despatched to the doctors to pick up a sick note and deliver it to the school admin. I tried to protest by saying “it can wait until you are better” and “it’s flipping cold outside”.
Mrs S was having none of it, She explained that by law a teacher must submit a sick note on her first day of sickness. I was of course scoffing, tutting and raising my eyes to heaven. What if you are really really sick and your husband isn’t at home? What then, eh! Eh!
My doctors English language skills are about as good as my Italian. We can say hello, goodbye and the rest we get by with miming and a mixture of English and Italian words.
If I wasn’t so good at miming, I might have to learn the language.
The doctor wrote out the sick note and then produced a fully functioning needle and syringe, I winced as he mimed how to give the injection into the upper arm. He showed me it should be injected at a 90 deg angle, not a 45 deg or even 30 deg.
The first thing I did was made sure I was not the intended recipient of the object of torture, once I realised it was for Mrs S I started to relax.
“You like I give needle to Mrs Sensible”
“It’s not difficult, just make sure you get the angle correct”
“Today!”
“No, it is to protect her against influenza, give it to her when her cold has cleared up”
“Sorry I no understand, talk again”
“Next week”
“Oh, Ok”
The weapon of mass destruction
When I arrived home I explained to Mrs S about the syringe, I said she had to drop her knickers and bend over so I could give her the injection.
It took her a full 2.5 milliseconds to realise my bedside manner was not fully kosher, she looked at me in her school marm way and asked what the doctor really said.
I think I would make a great doctor
So I told her what the doc said, or at least what I thought he had said and then added that there was no way I was going to stab her with the needle, I don’t like receiving injections and I am not going to start giving them…
It has since been explained to me that there is always somebody in the family who is a dab hand at giving injections.
To be honest, Italy never ceases to amaze me.
PS, Why am I writing this now and not when it happened? Because I have man flu and the syringe is still sat in our fridge, waiting for an aunt or needle friendly neighbour to turn up for a coffee and DIY hospital treatment.
Englishman in Italy 
Thank you for the smiles much needed today in Torino where it is miserably cold and damp.
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Amazingly we have glorious sunshine and we are only about an hour south of you.
I am off to eat another orange, I hear they are good for man flu
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run….
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lol
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I hope Mrs S gets the chance to make you bend over and take it 😉
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now now.
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Sorry about the man flu, nothing a few glasses of wine can’t cure I am sure. What amazes me is that the Dr. would give you the shot to take home and administer later. I can’t even begin to imagine that happening here in the states. Wow!
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Or in the UK, when I married Mrs S, she moved into our new house with a medical kit that Doctors Sans Frontieres would be proud of. In the container there was two syringes and needles, just in case she needed a shot of medicine.
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Italy certainly works in mysterious ways…
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Mysterious ways is the only thing that works over here….
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My vet gave me a syringe to administer to my cat this week and I am fainting just at the thought of what I shall have to do to my feline.
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It crazy, really it is. My father in law took me to his dentist is Sicily for root canal surgery, allegedly he would be much cheaper than the dentists in the north of Italy.
Anyway the first thing I noticed was the absence of any dental nurse, however my father in law promptly entered the surgery and was peering into my mouth, with what I suspect was a little bit of glee as his new found promotion to dental nurse.
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I was also surprised that there wasn’t what we call a dental hygienist when I went to the dentist in Calabria. But on the plus side, the dentist himself cleaned my teeth.
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That’s pretty good, but my father in law looked like he was ready to join in, and the dentist looked ready to let him
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Very old school.
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I managed to convince them that the anaesthetic wasn’t working and we should wait for a different day
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They sent you home to do the injection yourself! Here in the U.S, you would never leave with a needle and they would have had her go to a few specialists for further tests!
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Also in the Uk, however Italy works under a different and strange set of rules
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Okay, the willingness of Italian doctors to freely hand out needles is something I just cannot wrap my head around. I’m terrified of needles when I know they’re going to be given by someone properly trained/qualified… The thought of anyone else approaching me with that thing makes my blood run cold. (Which is why I turned down the flu shot when it was suggested to me that the best way of getting it would be to buy it myself at the pharmacy and then get my very much non-medical-trained fidanzato to inject me…)
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Lol, I not very happy if a non medically trained person approaches me with a set of tweezers to remove a splinter from my finger, let alone a hypodermic syringe
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Oh PN you always make me laugh. Nothing to giving a shot (in the arm or the butt). Practice on an orange. Really that’s how we learned in nursing school and then we had to give each other shots of sterile water as our nun instructor watched.
Anyhoo, get well soon from the man flu. It does make one feel crappy, more or less. 🙂 🙂 🙂
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He only gave me one syringe!! By the time I was an expert orange needler, the point would be blunt..
I was a bit disappointed it had to be given in the arm and not in the butt. 😇
It is still sat in the fridge with the jars of jam and pickles
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Might as well throw it out. Probably good anymore since spending time in the syringe. Next year get your flu shots early from the MD. 🙂
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I think it has been left in the fridge as a threat, i.e. Sorry did you say you are too ill to go to work, I think we have a syringe somewhere.
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Great idea, I think. 🙂 🙂 🙂
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Hey, pets, etc., where did you train? It sounds remarkably like my experiences at St Boniface Hospital, back in the dirty 30s!
Peter, luv, have you see n this? I wish they had it in Italy, just for you:
http://www.the-postillon.com/2016/12/world-first-specialist.html
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I will immediately phone them and see if they have a bed available.
I heard a mug of hot water, lemon, honey and whisky helps. Today I am trying the whisky, tomorrow I might add some of the other ingredients
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You’re a natural at this self help caper, PN.
I’m hoping I can still score some flu vaccine when I arrive in Italy in mid-March. Those pesky viruses just lurk around, waiting for me, it seems.
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Well we have one in the fridge and according to Pets, it’s easy to administer so just pop over and I will stab you with it, erh give it to you
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You are the epitomy of the milk of human kindness, PN. I’ll work hard at the gym so you can use my well develpoed deltoid for the 90 degree jab.
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I know, I know. Please reconsider the muscle area as I think I would be better aiming at the gluteus maximus. 😂😂
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Well now I have to change my whole exercise regime!
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😂😂😂😂😂
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I, too, am amazed at the designated family-shot-giver. I have a friend who gives shots to everyone in his family, which keeps him quite busy. A lot of shots are given and received in Italy…
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Oh yes, the Italian take a lot of care over their health, they either have something or are about to get something, failing that there is always cervicale
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Ha, ha. That same friend who gives out the shots is plagued with cervicale. I’m amazed how really old people who speak half dialect and half Italian have no problem deciphering their blood test reports.
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I never once saw one of my medical records when i was in the UK, Mrs Sensible has a folder with all her records in, she takes it to the hospital and then brings it home . I suppose I could use all the X rays as some sort of modern art project for my office wall
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she threatened to cure me with a needle! i opted for the israeli cough cure instead- drink honey that’s had half an onion soaking in it overnight…
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Yes, she is a firm believer in the needle, I like the honey idea, but I might swap the onion for a large measure of whisky
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Flu, eh? My Beloved Bangalan has been sick the last few days too…. It’s very tiring.
( for me… )
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I know, I know, it has been very tiring watching Mrs S running to and from the kitchen with hot drinks, cold drinks, packets of tissues, food, pills and potions .
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I half suspect that I’m supposed to be doing something. ..can’t be sure.
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That’s called, old timers and according to Mrs S I also have that
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Oh PN, wish you will recover fast 🙂
Even in Spain we have doctors to inject the needles 🙂
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