Chi è l’ultima? (Who is last?)Our doctors doesn’t have a receptionist nor does it have any queue system, when you enter the waiting room you shout Chi è l’ultima?
Hopefully someone will reply Io! (me!) this system works providing you are not visiting the doctor for deafness, laryngitis or because you are an Englishman.
So here I am on a cold Monday morning sat in the doctors with 15 other ill people waiting for our doctor who is late as per normal.
This Chi è l’ultima system works perfectly for Italians in doctors surgeries throughout Italy, that is until somebody decides they have something more important to do than sit in the doctors.
Maria ( let’s call her Maria) has just thrown a mini tantrum waved her hands in the air complained that the doctor is still not here and walked out. All very interesting, now we are having a fab discussion as to who was before Maria and who is after who?
I am trying not to giggle, especially as I forgot to ask Chi è l’ultima when I came in and after sitting here for twenty minutes I have forgot who came in after me plus I keep hearing l’inglese..
Forty minutes later the doctor has turned up, on crutches! everybody is suitable impressed, amongst the waiting room of Italians the doctor on his crutches looks sicker than any of us.
Those that were complaining bitterly are now looking at their feet as the doctor drags himself his bag and crutches across the room
And just to put the icing on the cake Maria must have seen the doctor arrive because she has re-entered the waiting room and is trying to negotiate her position back in the queue. I of course helped her by calling io ultima!!!
Update…..
The doctor said I have to rest my leg, I know my Italian is not very good, but I am sure he said I was not to make any more cups of tea, clean the kitchen or any other house related jobs.. I will need to break this news to Mrs Sensible gently. Because I know she was worried
Englishman in Italy 
Ahhhh…..why is it that whenever I read your posts I get nostalgic….for a system that is proper bonkers but which is also so entertaining!Here in London I experience something completely different….and even with an allocated number the whole experience is never that fun!
Grazie Peter, because of your words I can finally smile at a country I never really understood not felt as my own but which has definitely some contagious madness!
LikeLiked by 1 person
The madness of Italy suits my weird sense of humour, I am giggling fit to burst here, no one knows who is next and there are several people trying to solve the problem and just to confuse us more sick people are arriving and asking who is last!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
We also have this system here in Spain… at the greengrocer’s!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good grief! At the Italian Greengrocers it is less complicated, more a push and shove contest
LikeLike
One I know of even has a ticketing system…!
LikeLiked by 1 person
We have those in the supermarket I find it best to take 2 or 3, it stops people queuing directly behind you 😇😇
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL! And it also prevents you from missing your turn. I’m often in dreamland when they call out my number…
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s like a game of bingo, but with only one number. I always feel the need to shout CASA! 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
…and it’s always the Two Fat Ladies’ turn, never yours 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
You must try taking 3 tickets it makes shopping fun. When they call one of your tickets you go ahh ahh! No Sorry, then when they call the other one you can tut and shake your head with everyone else at the shopper who has obviously walked off and finally shout Casa for ticket number three.
I have never done this when Mrs S is close.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Are you sure he didn’t say, “Sorry, but I have to rest my leg”?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha ha ha, he might have but I hope not
LikeLiked by 1 person
yes, i believe that your italian is so clearly fluent now, that translation sounds perfect !
LikeLiked by 1 person
Don’t get too excited…. When I finally got to talk to the doctor to tell him my problems, he decided to tell me how he hurt his legs. I oohh and arrhhhed in all the correct places and shook my head and tutted as he told me what had happened.
When I returned home to Mrs S I told her the doctor is on crutches, she asked me what happened to him, my reply…. I honestly haven’t a clue.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I had to do a double take when I opened my email this morning and there was something with an Italian title from the Englishman in Italy!
My mind said “he couldn’t have become fluent that fast”. But I had to wait because every time I tried to read the post it wouldn’t load. Too many Americans shopping on “Cyber Monday” so I’ve only just been able to read the entire post. Yes, I think the doctor needed to rest his leg and you never mentioned that you were there because of a sore leg (or did I miss that part?)
Many years ago I had hurt my leg and I had a lady doctor who gave me the same advice you “claim” your doctor gave you….my husband said we were in collusion….especially when she said I couldn’t cook anything that required standing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I went because I have a strange black dot floating in my eyeball. It is really weird, I keep thinking I can see a mosquito flying next to my face. I did the self diagnosis on google and was given two options, one was worry and one was not to worry. So I went to see the doc. Plus I complained about the muscle in my leg that I pulled during karate.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I certainly hope both issues are much better.
LikeLike
I went to karate again tonight, but took it careful
LikeLike
I had to laugh. We have a similar system in our village clinic here in Turkey. I took my father in law in the other day and, seeing the queue of other sickly people, decided he wasn’t going to wait and walked straight into the doctor’s office, yelled at the poor people in side and sat straight down. Mortified! Luckily I don’t speak enough Turkish to hear what they were no doubt saying about us LMAO!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Jane, your father in law is a wise man. I dropped Mrs Sensible off at her school at 8.00 am. She said ” The doctor arrives at 10.00, so if you go to the doctors now you will be seen first.
Wait 2 hours in the surgery just to be seen first!!!!!
She replied ” If you go at ten you will wait 2 hours in a surgery full of sick Italians”
I thought it would be more fun to sit with the Italians!!!! 🙂 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes your wife is also very wise. I find you need to be there when the doors open otherwise you need a packed lunch
LikeLiked by 1 person
But you miss all the fun…..
LikeLike
Ha ha – you always make me smile. 🙂 It is a very sensible system actually, if I think about it, and something that would work far better here than the silly booking in system that we have and which can sometimes mean waiting a week or more to see the Dr. I am reminded of a time I went to the Dr with a very painful muscle spasm in my back and she told me that I shouldn’t be doing housework – it was much too dangerous! 😀
LikeLiked by 2 people
Did you manage to get out of doing the housework ?? I didn’t, I did try 😏
LikeLike
I think it lasted for about a week. 😀
LikeLike
We have same system many places here in Spain. It demands time to sick 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
It takes a full morning to visit the doctors. When I finally get to see him I then have to use mime and drama to tell him what is wrong with me. I really should learn Italian
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have the same here with the Spanish and yes, so time demanding.
LikeLike
Oh dear. Poor Pete. Maybe you need a wheelchair and that would be more convincing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s a great idea. Mind you this is Italy and I don’t think the doctors has wheelchair access.
LikeLiked by 1 person