RUTHIE: I’m bored; I have spent the entire Easter chasing a walnut around the floor.
Mishmash: you’re bored! It’s your fault that we are grounded and not allowed out. If you had stuck to chasing walnuts and purring like a nice pussy cat we would be outside, but oh no you have to go, pruur pruur pruurring and try to shag the rug.
Ruthie: It’s not my fault, it’s my hormones. One minute I want to hump the rug and as the fog of love clears, I find Ginger is all over me like a bad rash.
Ginger: You can leave me out of this, I’m stuck in here and I’m not even a girlie and besides you have been playing the hussy, sauntering
around pruur pruur pruurring with your tail in the air for the past three days.
Ruthie: Have you checked all the doors and windows?
Ginger: Yes, I even tried to make a bolt for it when Pecora Nera was carrying some wood in, if I hadn’t been laughing at the way he yelped and nearly fell over, I would be free.
Mishmash: I have an idea.
Ginger: Not another!
Mishmash: Ruthie!!! Leave the rug alone and come over here!!
Ruthie: Pruur pruur pruur.
Ginger: So what’s the big idea?
Mishmash: One of us drops a squidgy one under the table and when they open the window we make a run for it.
Ginger: Im looking at a dead cat!
Ruthie: You will never get away with it. As soon as you start to squat, Mrs Sensible will have you by the scruff and fire you into the smelly tray. And Pecora Nera will probably spray you with his blasted water pistol just for the fun of it.
Mishmash: Hang on! I never said I would do the squidgy thing!!! I thought up the plan, one of you will have to do the squidgy.
Ginger: Count me out, I’ve just been.
Mishmash: Looks like it’s you then Ruthie.
Ruthie: Pruur pruur pruur
Mishmash: Oh for heaven’s sake! Ginger, go and distract Mrs S while I sneak into the kitchen and do the magic.
Ginger: And what about PN? You can’t trust Ruthie to help; she is humping the rug again. Ok on three. One two ….
Mishmash: Wait, I can’t just poop to order. Give me a minute.
Ginger: Now! Go! This is the big chance, Mrs S is on her phone and I can distract Pecora Nera.
Ruthie: Pruur pruur pruur.
A couple of minutes pass.
Ruthie: Phew, there’s a bit of a pong from the kitchen.
Mishmash: Oh you’re back in the land of the living. Had a fall out with the rug have we?
Pecora Nera: Your cat has just wandered into the kitchen.
Mrs Sensible: Ruuuutthhiiee vieniiii.
Mishmash: You are one daft cat.
A couple of minutes pass..
.
Mrs Sensible: Can you smell that?
Pecora Nera: Smell what?
Mrs Sensible: You can’t smell it? I can smell poo!!
Pecora Nera: One of the cats will have farted… Mishmash where are you?
Mrs Sensible: Go and check the kitchen.
Pecora Nera: Oh my Lord!
Mrs Sensible: It’s your cat that did that.
Pecora Nera: No way, it was Ruthie. YOU called her from the kitchen, remember!
Mrs Sensible: Just open the window, while I clean it up.
Mishmash: Ready, steady… go
Ginger: Wait for me; hey, where are you two going?
Mishmash: Shagfest, up the lane with the big hairy tomcat
I have heard he is a bit of an Italian Stallion.
Ruthie: Pruur pruur pruur.
Pecora Nera: It was definitely your cat.
Mra Sensible: it was Mishmash, only your cat drops squidgy ones. By the way, where are they?
Englishman in Italy 
happy easter to all of you including the italian stallion )
LikeLiked by 2 people
Happy Easter Beth. The Italian Stallion is a big and very beautiful hairy chocolate brown cat. I have been using the garden hose to cool him down a bit.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Shouldn’t Ruthie have a nice trip to the vet? She’s still purr but will give up on the rug and the Italian stallion.
Happy Easter to all.
LikeLike
Both of them are off to see the man with the rubber gloves this week.
If I can catch the Italian Stallion he will go as well.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ok, Pecora have you two not gotten the cats fixed yet? If you have not, for Pete’s sake, “git er done.”
A funny read but I was disturbed since I’m figuring the cats are acting as if one is in heat and the other two are ditzy felines of some persuasion but not sure which country to blame it on. 🙂
LikeLike
This week they will go. Ginger is a boy, Ruthie is female and as for Mishmash… who knows!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m relieved. 🙂 Otherwise there would be lots of little paws running about the house. Then you’d have a hard time finding good responsible homes and hating yourself for having to give them up.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Not only would be many paws running around in the house, but also squidgy ones 😦
LikeLiked by 2 people
We look forward to four or five more squidgy ones, but with hair this time, courtesy of Ruthie and I.S. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
There are enough mice and land here to support another couple of hairy beasts. We only have one neighbour within a mile and she doesn’t have cats, so the Italian Stallion is another feral cat.
LikeLike
More like a Latin Lion 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Or maybe Latin Lynx is catchier…?
LikeLike
It is a beautiful looking cat. Which is why Ruthie is going pruur pruur pruur all the time and I am keeping the hose pipe within arms reach
LikeLiked by 1 person
May The Force be with you, o brave defender of Ruthie’s virtue!
There may be other ways… my gran used to give her cat (who couldn’t be spayed for some reason) “the pill”. Prescribed by the vet, of course 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Really! That is really cool. Did she trust the cat to remember to take it? We were thinking of using a large sticking plaster. 😉
LikeLike
I think she used minced meat.
To hide the pill, not to plug the cat’s rear end, though Ruthie might enjoy that in her current state.
LikeLiked by 1 person
We tried that method with pills. They eat the meat and spit the pills out. We have tried the crushed pill method as well. At the moment we use the force feeding technique but with 10 claws to contend with I prefer to leave this little job to Mrs Sensible
LikeLike
I see. It might be easier just to remove her ovaries… though preferably not in your own kitchen.
LikeLike
Lol really funny… 5 stars… my cats are not so smart though. Thinking of it, a couple of time mimi unexpectedly squatted, maybe she had a sort of evil plan too…
LikeLiked by 1 person
It is obvious that Mishmash is the ringleader and trouble maker. These were feral kittens when we found them. I think they are still feral
LikeLike
My Easter was so dull and boring compared to that in your casa. Poor little cats facing the knife, eh?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Domani è un altro giorno… We can send you a cat or two. By next easter we might have even more to send
LikeLike
It’s OK, I don’t mind dull and boring, thanks. I shan’t rob you folks of your pleasure.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I had better go and tell Mrs S to un pack Mishmash.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hilarious!
Happy Easter to you two!
LikeLike
Hi Donna.
Happy Easter to you and Tomer
LikeLike
Sounds like a lot of fun! I think I am a fan of little Mishmash.
LikeLike
Hello Miss Jessica
Mishmash is now a rather big cat. Mrs S spends my wine and grappa money on buying nice cat food for the little horrors. They also supplement their diet with mice and now that it is warmer the poor lizards
LikeLike
Cats can be fiendishly intelligent when they put their minds to it. 🙂
I hope they all came home unscathed! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ruthie came home with a smile on her face and Ginger is sulking beause the hairy tom cat has Ruthie’s affection. They have spent the morning sleeping
LikeLike
Better get Ruthie to the vet asap! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I loved this! I hope they’ve come back in after their rendez-vous with the Italian stallion down the street? They’re clever cats, for sure…Who really left that squidgy? One may never know.
And wow, what kind of rug that must be?! Very attractive indeed!
Buona Pasqua (scusami — a little late!)
*Lia
LikeLike
The came back bright eyed and bushy tailed. I am sure Mishmash was grinning.
Mrs S is taking them to the vets this week; hopefully he can give the cats a lecture on the perils of promiscuity.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh I’m glad to hear they’re all back a casa:) yes, they should get a talking to….they’ve got to make a bella figura both inside and outside the home! :))))
Ciao and have a great start to your week!
*Lia
LikeLike
You have too many cats =0)
LikeLiked by 1 person
They have a blog?!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I keep telling Mrs Sensible that one or two should go
LikeLiked by 1 person