Welcome to my new office. You might notice it is full of old men drinking espresso, this is so I can sit here unnoticed and get some work done, well until I open my mouth and order another cappuccino and all heads swivel my way.
Why don’t I work from home? Two reasons, 1 It is full of scabby cats and 2, there is no internet connection. A week ago I asked Mrs Sensible to phone Telecom Italia and ask them to connect us to the internet, this should be very easy after all we already have 5 working phones scattered around the house.
So Mrs S picked up the phone and called a customer service representative woman at Telecom Italia. She gave them our address and explained that the previous owner of the house had died and we wanted to have the line reconnected (The phone line was working, it just wasn’t in our name) and to also have fast internet. Telecom told her, the contract is still in the dead man’s name and they required a relative of the dead man to write to them and prove he was dead so they can cancel his contract. While this conversation was in progress I was hopping from foot to foot saying helpful things like “how soon, I need fast internet, tell them I also need a modem. The scowl from Mrs S shut me up.
I sent an E mail to the son of Telecom’s dead customer and asked him to prove his dead dad was in fact dead. He told me he had proved to Telecom that he was dead 2 years ago and to his knowledge, things had not changed.
Mrs S phoned Telecom and reached a different woman, she explained their customer was in fact still dead and they had been told he was dead 2 years ago. The woman said “we know he is dead” Ah ha progress!! Mrs S again gave her details and requested an internet line and phone line. I knew I was allowed to hop from foot to foot but I had to keep silent. When Mrs S put the phone down, the phone that according to Telecom was already disconnected and as dead as their previous customer, she told me Telecom would call me in a couple of days to organise the fitting. I was sooooo excited.
Seven days passed and no calls, so I harassed Mrs S to call them again.
The conversation went something like this,
Mrs S; You promised to phone Pecora Nera to organise his internet access, when are you going to do this because he is driving me mad.
Telecom: Please will you give me your address.
Mrs S: 2 Green Leaves Road in the middle of the countryside.
Telecom: That is why we didn’t call you, this phone is registered to 13 Old Mill Road in the middle of nowhere.
Mrs S; Can you please update your system as the address is wrong, the council say we live at number 2 Green Leaves, not number 13 Old Mill Road.
And so until Telecom arrive with my 2 tin cans and a long length of string I will have to share my office with 7 old men.
There is a post about our strange address here I will update you on Telecom Italia ASP (at some point)
O Dio. “He told me he had proved to Telecom that he was dead 2 years ago and to his knowledge, things had not changed.”
You do have a way with words that makes me spit (treasured) wine onto my keyboard. Do you know how hard it is to suck wine from those crevasses? Do you even care?
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Sorry….. really I am sorry. I have some nice wine here for when you are in the area. As long as you don’t spit it on my keyboards
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Hmm. I’ll be in Venice in may. I’ll meet you folks and the cats, half way.
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It sounds like a good plan
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ah, the address strikes again! and they can’t call you because you don’t have a number. that they haven’t given you. and can’t because they know that guy is dead now and you keep harassing them. and besides, they’ll get around to it when they can. stop bothering them. this is why they don’t hook up your line, because you’ll just keep contacting them once you have it! ps – i love your office mates, looks like a rollicking crew, what fun the company picnic is going to be!
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When and if Telecom Italia install my internet connection, I will have a leaving party. Everyone is invited including old men with zimmer frames. Mind you, my retirement party might happen before Telecom Italia gets it’s act together.
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I don’t know… old mills are quite nice…. Try a couple of yoghurt pots and a cat’s tail instead. Or go and shout at telecom and throw kitty poop at them until they give in. Poor PN – life without internet and with too much coffee.
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I feel obliged to keep buying cups of espresso, by the time I have finished sending e mails I can quite lliterally jive out the door
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After a trip to the Turkish toilet, of course.
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How did you guess? It is a unisex one. Mrs S said there is now a rule that they all need to be changed, because they are not suitable for disabled people. So maybe in 2114 it might happen
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I had a problem once, a little similar, we moved to a nearby town keeping our old number. After a week of moving we had the voice part of our phone (wow a first for Telecom?) and so we could call people (yeaaahhhhh) but the internet was still at the old house!!! Doh…. After hundreds of promises; hundreds of calls to Telecom and 9 weeks, we got our internet…..yeah. After 2 months we changed to Tele2 (now Teletu).
Stick with the cups and string….when you’ve finished the call, you can fill up the cup with your favourite drink to clam you down after calling Telecom!!!
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I have never heard of Tele2, I have heard some Telecom Italia horror stories. I haven’t signed anything yet and they may never find our address / addresses
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I’m sorry I laughed twice at your misfortune. Once when I read your post, and once when I read the next blog in my WordPress reader, from Expat Lingo. I highly recommend that you read item 6 on Expat Lingo’s list.
http://expatlingo.com/2014/09/16/8-keys-to-a-successful-expat-honeymoon-period/
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Oh, good grief, another blog to follow. Thanks heaps, Karolyn.
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Just order another coffee, and read. It’s worth it.
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😉
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This is also a trouble here with television cable companies as well as the cellular phone companies. When a person dies, they are still responsible for the monthly cable and or cell phone bill. A relative must sent proof, i.e. certified copy of a death certificate, to the providing cable and cell phone company proving that the responsible party for the bill payment is actually dead. Wills etc, cannot be officially settled until such proof is offered as the cable / cell phone company will continue sending bills, cutting service and placing liens on the credit line of the deceased. I should think a grieving family has more to be concerned with than a cable or cellular bill especially if the deceased has obviously not been using said equipment. I will assume such asinine proof is required because unscrupulous living people have attempted opting out of a contract and or monthly payments by stating that they are dead when in actuality they are simply scoundrels and cheats—-oh the times in which we live—but I do like the new office—your “receptionists” look like such sweet granddads —happy working—cookie
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So glad I’ve learned to never be eating or drinking while reading your posts.
I know when my internet isn’t working that it’s like having both arms cut off. But there is a Starbucks right around the corner….no matter where I live in the Greater Seattle area….probably would be the same if I lived in China. I like your “office” much better.
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If I can make somebody snort their bran flakes or choke on their wine, my day has been a good one
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I have noticed with expats (I’ve been an expat in a couple of countries) that we often make friendships more quickly than we would at home. When you sit down with a group of expats in Italy, even ones you don’t know, there are a couple of unifying words. If you say “bank”, “commune office” or “telecom Italia” everyone of them will throw up their hands and say something like “OMG, let me tell you THIS story…”. So, my hypothesis is that these organizations serve an important function in the lives of expats. They create community. How else would you bond with someone who comes from a different country than you in the space of 3 1/2 seconds?
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I knew they had a purpose, I just didn’t know what it was until now 🙂
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This is positive collateral!
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Oh man! It’s like Italy is some sort of parallel universe where everything is backwards 😉 I can see this address thing being a problem at every turn! Viel Gluck 😉
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I bet the Germans install your phone line before you even ask for it…
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They’ve probably already done it even though I don’t have a home 😉
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Yup, first sign the contract, then invade your neighbour. Oops sorry I got side tracked there for a minute. I meant to say…
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La la la – not listening 😉 I have to be good! 🙂
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Cable/phone companies (bundled or separate) are the worst!! At the very least, and this may provide you little solace but helps me out, you are described the circumstances that have led you to your current office quite amusingly, making me giggle uncontrollably. Hope you’re not stuck with two tin cans and a string for long, but in the meantime, thanks for making me laugh!
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My pleasure, the old guys in my office are ok. They don’t make too much noise and the coffee was fantastic.
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The coffee will make or break the situation every time. Glad it’s helping!
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The wine is better, but Mrs S would hit me with a wet wooden spoon if I sat and drank wine in the morning.
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I have an ongoing issue with British Gas over this exact same thing. They keep writing, calling, even visiting for various checks etc and calling me Mr Gill or something. No one has ever lived at my house by that name, and if they did it was so long ago it was during the time of open fires.
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🙂 The big companies are pretty rubbish with stuff like this
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boy oh boy. I’m usually the first to pick up the phone and make sure the company, no matter how stubborn they are, gets us our stuff and gets us our stuff fast. though, it works a bit (WAY) better now that we’re back in the states.
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Are you missing Europe????
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I miss traveling Europe. I don’t miss the smoke and I don’t miss belgium!
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Come to Italy next time, the smoke is the same but the wine is fab
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I don’t think my husband could live amongst the Italians….he’s a big fan of order! 😉
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We have order here. Disorganised followed by Chaos and finally Posts Italia
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😉 we’re thinking Portugal will give us best of both sides!
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Very witty, I enjoyed reading it. Looking forward to the next chapter – or two or three
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or knowing Telecom Italia three or four.
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I recently went through a similiar event, although the previous home owner had not died. I had moved out and needed everything disconnected. Needless to say, I understand the frustration of waiting. However, your “office” seems quite cozy and great for people watching. Enjoy your cappuccino!
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Mrs S works at schools in 3 villages, So I now have 3 different Cafès / offices to work from, well until I get my internet at home working.
Italian cappuccino is nice and their wine is even better
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Agreed, cappuccino is sweet but wine makes everything better 🙂
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It cures all problems.. 😉
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