Does this stuff really happen!!!

Posted on by • Posted in Health, home, Wine • Tagged , , , , , , , • 36 Comments

I received an e mail asking me, what inspires me to write my posts and does this stuff really happen or do I just have an over active imagination. So let me take this opportunity to put the record straight. Much to Mrs Sensible’s dismay, my blog is as it happens here. Mrs Sensible wouldn’t allow me to tell lies or exaggerate. If I did she would hit me with a wet wooden spoon.

Mrs Sensible is deadly with a wet wooden spoon.

Mrs Sensible is deadly with a wet wooden spoon.

How do I decide what to write about?  Well let me give you an example.

Two weeks ago my reading glasses were sitting on my face at a funny angle, so I took them off and tried to straighten them. I heard a little snap and ended up with two monocles, one for each eye.  Mrs Sensible just looked at me as my glasses fell apart in my hands. “What have you done now?” she asked. Nothing I replied as I tried to hide my glasses in my pocket.

A monocle for each eye.

A monocle for each eye.

Breaking my glasses is not a huge problem as I also wear contact lenses. Unfortunately I lost several boxes of contact lenses when we moved house. I can find my corkscrew and my bottles of wine. We have eventually found the kettle, but my lenses are still in a box…. Probably marked Christmas decorations!!

Are they in the box marked Christmas?

Are they in the box marked Christmas decorations?

Like everyone else I have two eyes, my right eye does all the work and my left eye… well it is there only for decoration, it is called a lazy eye. It looks normal but it just refuses to work. When I went for my eye examination for my Italian driving licence, the doctor gave me a paddle to cover my left eye as he tested my right eye. Everything was OK, however when he asked me to cover my right eye and read the letters on the wall, I was tempted to ask him “what wall?” I managed to get around this slight difficulty by removing the paddle and having a quick look at the letters before the doctor turned around and asked me what he had just pointed at.

What do you mean, where has the wall gone

What do you mean, where has the wall gone?

So what inspired me to write this post? Well last week we had the COSI on-line discussion and I was sat in a bar with a glass of wine, squinting at my laptop. I couldn’t find any more contact lenses, my reading glasses are broken so my solution was to wear my normal glasses and over the top of those I put on a pair of Mrs Sensible’s reading glasses, with the double magnification and providing I partially closed my left eye I could read my laptop almost perfectly.

With my multiple sets of glasses I looked quite sexy

With my multiple sets of glasses I looked quite sexy

After a couple of glasses of wine I forgot that I was wearing two sets of glasses. When the waitress who delivered my third glass of wine, looked at me funnily I immediately checked to make sure my fly was zipped up.

The COSI webcam was a bit chaotic, but I enjoyed it. I sat there with a glass of wine in one hand, an ear phone plugged into my right ear and my finger stuck into my left ear to block out the noise of the bar, oh and two sets of glasses on. I think ‘M’ from Married to Italy sent me a message and said Pecora “ your webcam is on we can see you” I didn’t worry too much until I realised what I must look like, after all I was already getting strange looks from the people in the bar.

So do I make this stuff up? No this is life as I know it in Italy

36 thoughts on “Does this stuff really happen!!!”

  2. ‘So do I make this stuff up? No this is life as I know it in Italy.’

    We wouldn’t want it any other way! Wish my eyesight would return to me. Can’t see five feet in front of myself these days. There’s nothing more embarrassing than waving to someone you don’t actually know. Once you’ve gone up to them, it’s too late. What to do? Just pretend that you know each other and the other party has forgotten? I’ll be keeping my hands in my pockets from now on…

    Like

    Reply

      • Well, admittedly, I am a prolific spammer! There I was, tapping a comment, when WordPress decided that I’d already posted one and refused point blank to allow me to post it at all. Or so I thought! Next time I’ll use a pen and paper and send it via Poste Italiane. Much more reliable. 😀

        Like

        Reply

  3. NEVER change. PN, you’re priceless 🙂 I’ve got my first pair of glasses. I feel like I’m on the Titanic when I wear them – I’m going to see if a glass of wine will help me to focus better 🙂 PS: thanks to Mrs Sensible for the wet wooden spoon technique. I will see if it’s better at getting PF moving than a flick with the tea towel.

    Like

    Reply

  5. I can easily imagine you with the two pair of glasses. My late husband would wear three pair….sunglasses and two pair of readers….one to see the instrument panel on the small plane he was flying and the other to read the chart to get him to where he was flying to. I finally convinced him it would be easier to get his eyes checked and get “real” glasses. He came home with tri-focals which he probably needed for years and some of those little snap on sunglasses. So I easily have the image of you sitting in that bar.
    Hope you find the contacts soon….wouldn’t want you to confuse a left over bag of cat kibble for a bag of crisps.
    And you couldn’t possibly make this stuff up. You just have a delightful view of real life!

    Like

    Reply

  10. I have to agree with everyone that your writing style is too funny!! That’s probably why you were asked if you made these things up – but I think that comedy can be found in everyday situations and you have the perfect way to describe it 🙂 Thanks for the smile – and the image of all those glasses on your head. I have been there before (before contacts) when I’d wear my reading glasses with sunglasses on top when I was outside! It’s a very glamorous look, don’t you think? I’ve also been known to take my sunglasses off my eyes when I’m going through a tunnel and hanging them off my ears towards my mouth (they’d get stretched if I put them over my head!!). And stay away from the wet wooden spoon! But, why wet? Does it give a more stinging slap that way?

    Like

    Reply

    • Ciao, Dangling sunglasses from your ears is a fashion statement in Italy. But they have too be designer sunglasses, not something from specsavers . 😉

      Any wooden spoon is deadly when it is in the hands of Mrs S and yes a wet wooden spoon stings more. Thanks for the nice comment you are now on my Christmas card list

      Like

      Reply

  11. nope , you cannot make this up. maybe if you had your glasses or contacts you could find your contacts in the boxes, but then that is the problem isn’t it? ps – i have the same eye thing going on. last time i went to the eye doc, i said, ‘well you may as well just replace this one with a pretty glass marble.’ she just stared at me with a poker face. (i think)

    Like

    Reply

    • Hi Ksbeth, I am glad I am not alone with this problem. I am just thankful they both point in the same direction at the same time. I had a teacher whose eyes had a tendency to wander in different directions when he was tired or stressed, when he shouted we never knew who he was shouting or who was in trouble, It was very stressful. For us poor children.

      Like

      Reply

  13. Yes, I understand. In my Preparation H post last week, I too extolled the virtues of wearing two pair of glasses on top of one another—not only was I attempting to actually see as I was waiting for my new prescription to come in, I was hoping to create a new fashion trend, making me millions 🙂
    ciao ciao my little Pecora. . .

    Like

    Reply

  15. I have never doubted that your posts are true… you can’t make this stuff up! I too have only one functioning eye, and cheated on the eye test at 16 to get my license. if I ever have to retake the test I’ll try to hire a surrogate.

    Like

    Reply

Even you non wordpress bloggers can comment, your e mail is hidden.. Don't be shy.