Mrs Sensible has left me :(

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The first thing you are going to ask is “has she taken Scooby Doo the cat with her?” Well the answer is no, she has left the scabby white cat here with me and no doubt we will both starve. Did I drive her mad and force her to leave me? Has she finally said “basta!” (enough is enough!) . All I can tell you is she has flown to Sicily to marry somebody. Before I tell you what has happened, go and pour yourself a glass of wine and then bring your chair closer to the computer screen while I explain what has happened.

Mrs Sensible leaving into the Sunset

Mrs Sensible leaving into the Sunset

Mrs Sensible flew to Sicily on Friday afternoon; no sooner had Mrs Sensible left these golden shores when Scooby Doo and I quickly made an inventory of the bacon in the fridge and the number of cans of cat food in the cupboard.  I think I will starve first because I only have 3 packs of bacon left and Scooby Doo has 6 cans of cat food, plus he is not willing to share his food with me.

The cat was well prepared

The cat was well prepared

While I was looking in the kitchen for the emergency stash of chocolates and crisps, I found the following note pinned on the kitchen cupboard.

To Do,

Paint the new house.

Keep this house tidy.

Make your bed.

Water the plants.

Feed Scooby Doo

Do Not,

Have a party.

Mess with the washing machine.

Order more wine.

Eat all the crisps.

Annoy Scooby Doo.

I have already started dropping hints with friends that I am Home Alone and may starve to death over the weekend and to-date,

Pecora Nera & Scooby Doo

Pecora Nera & Scooby Doo

I have had no dinner or lunch invitations. Friday night I ended up eating a kebab in a Turkish takeaway in a little village called Fubina.  Mustapha who served me said “it good you here, I practice English with you, I want live near Manchester United; Italy hot but no good. England land of Milk and Honey” This might not be exactly what he said, I was only half listening to him while I was eating my kebab whilst wondering if the scabby white cat had worked out how to use the can opener.

 

If only Scooby Doo had opposing thumbs

If only Scooby Doo had opposing thumbs

 

Tonight I flipped a coin, ‘heads’ I cook bacon sandwiches or ‘tales’ I go to dinner with a lithe sweet young thing and enjoy a romantic evening for two. It was tales and I had a nice pint of beer, a chilli con carne and a fabulous pack of Brown Bag Crisp whilst staring into the eyes of my guest.

I stared into her green eyes

My dates eyes were like puddles, bicycle peddles.

So why has Mrs Sensible left me and flown to Sicily, top up your glass with some more wine and I will tell you. Mrs Sensible has gone to marry someone. Not as in to marry someone, (one black sheep is quite enough for Mrs Sensible) but as in marry two people together. It would appear there has been a new law in Italy, anyone who is deemed Sensible enough by the local council can officiate and marry people and so Mrs Sensible has flown to Sicily to officiate and marry two of our friends together.

She gets to wear one of those Italian banners over her shoulder

She got to wear one of these green white and red things

She got to wear one of these green white and red things

and ask the new couple the important questions such as:-

Do you take this man to be you lawful wedding husband, and promise to keep the fridge stocked with beer and his slippers and his pipe next to the fire?

And

Do you take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife and always remember to open her car door for her and forgive her when she is short tempered and a growly monster for 1 week in every 4.

So it is Saturday night, I am home alone with only a bottle of wine and my wordpress friends to keep me company. Mrs Sensible will be back on Monday morning, which gives me plenty of time to straighten up the house and hide all the evidence of chocolate wrappers and empty wine bottles.

How is Scooby Doo the scabby white cat I hear you asking, well last time I looked he had given up with the can opener  and eaten Gilder’s the short legged but incredible fat dog’s dinner.

 

67 thoughts on “Mrs Sensible has left me :(”

  2. My first question would have been ‘are you going to starve/burn the house down/end up eaten by the cat?’ 🙂 I know, I have such faith in you! Great to have you back! Hugely entertaining as always! If I ever meet a decent guy, I might get Mrs Sensible to marry us – I can’t think of a safer pair of hands! Sure you don’t want to party?! 😉

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  3. So here was I at 7:45 Sunday morning, glass of wine in trembling hand, apprehensive about what was to be revealed. Phew, happy ending. I sure hope there’ll be a photo of Mrs Sensible with her official sash. I think the scabby white cat has a better diet than you, at east while Mrs S is away. Rabbit, chicken, veal … while you make do with Brown Bag Chips.

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    • Sunday morning already, I had better start tidying up. I am just glad that cat hasn’t worked out how to open a bottle of wine. Ohhh I have a video of him to upload. 🙂

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  4. If you can get a flight (or are a very fast driver), you are more than welcome to join us tomorrow for dinner at Indecisive Towers. I’m not sure what will be on the menu – indecisive is not my name for nothing! It might be a bag of crisps, or it might be a Sunday roast… 😉 Scabby is welcome too, but he will need to bring his own catfood, as we don’t have any of that.

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    • I will book a flight, I think I can push / squeeze / cram that scabby cat into my hand luggage.

      is it all right if I leave our beautiful cat with you and collect him another day, maybe in the year 2040?

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      • (Just spotted the typo in my comment – I seem to have renamed poor Scooby as Scabby, but then it is perhaps appropriate?)
        Cats have a very strong homing instinct – you’d be better to move house again if you leave him here with us so that he doesn’t find his way back to you!

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  6. And who was that lovely gray tabby feline who was your date for dinner? Trying to make Scooby jealous?
    Surprised that so far I was the only one who picked up on that. Or did you have to use a stock photo because Scooby is still recovering from tick surgery and ashamed to have his picture taken?

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    • Yes, Scooby Doo is still recovering from tick surgery, he was a wonderful bald spot on the top of his head. I remind him of it every time I see him. It was a real live cat that appeared at my table!!!!

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  8. Scooby Do will no less tell on you—cats have that way about them. Mine always alert me when “daddy” has been bad–especially when I fly away, not to marry anyone mind you, but no less away–as I am actually driving away Wednesday early, for our son’s wedding on Saturday down on the coast. “Daddy” will be driving down two day’s following my departure—just enough time to not take proper care of the two 4 legged babies at home—they will alert me, especially if one goes missing. . .

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    • Hi Cookie, Yes I get the feeling Scooby Doo would tell on me if I had a party. You only have 2 cats!!!! Wow you have room for one more, especially a beautiful white scabby Italian cat that goes by the name of Scooby Doo

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  9. This is your opportunity to bond with Scooby Doo. Really, how can you resist a cat with that name, and a white kitty at that … compared to that gray tiger vixen in your photo 🙂 Just make sure you’re well sobered up and the house is presentable and Scooby Doo has not disappeared by the time Mrs. Sensible returns. And perhaps she’ll go on more officiating trips so you can continue your quality time with us and … Scooby 😉

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    • Bond with Scooby Doo!!! The cat that smiles at me one day and scratches me the next! I keep whispering in his ear we are moving sooooooon.

      I still have today to party and eat lots of non healthy food. Mrs Sensible won’t be back till Monday Morning.

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  10. Awwww. Poor PN. All alone with a stock of Bacon, crisps, wine and beer…? Pull the other one, kiddo, it’s got bells on it. You’re loving every minute of it 😀 I’m home alone too – but at my mother-in-law’s home (she’s in hospital so I’m being the visitor from hell during the day, and guarding the house at night). Her washing machine has rewarded me for my efforts by giving up the ghost mid cycle, with my clothes inside it.
    Have a good day with Scooby Doo today!

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  12. i think the 3 of you can survive and thrive. if your strategy is to team up, rather than, ‘every creature for himself,’ and put all of your food and wits together you shall overcome )

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    • I miss Mrs Sensible, I walk into the kitchen to cook and then walk out with a pack of biscuits and a glass of wine. She flew back today so life is back to normal 😉

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  15. That cat food looks particularly low-rent. Even the cat on the front doesn’t look best pleased! Now that Mrs. Sensible has gone on holiday, it’s your chance to make mischief and eat far too many bags of crisps – just don’t eat the entire stock. Apparently, it’s bad business sense to do that… If the Turkish bloke wants to swap places with me, I’d be happy to move to Italy; though, perhaps not to work in a kebab shop. I’d never get rid of the smell. I’d have wildlife following me everywhere!

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    • The cat food is low rent and I bought the cheap stuff because the cat is supposed to live across the road and this was supposed to be a temporary measure. Little did I know I would have to move houses to loose the scabby cat. Don’t mention the crisps, I have scoffed a bag or three. You would love Italy, it has sun, wine, great food, lots of bureaucracy, a huge family called Cretino and mosquitoes.

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    • This is normal life here, you should hang around and see what life is like when it starts to get crazy.

      We are coming up to the summer holidays and I might decide to apply for Italian citizenship, just for the fun of it. I am sure one or two of Mr Cretino’s relatives work in that office.

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    • Not only tie the knot, but demand that Mrs Sensible fly to sunny Sicily and tie it for them..

      I managed to survive the weekend on a diet of Kebab’s, chilli con carne, bags of crisps all washed down with a couple of bottles of wine. It was hard work.

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