Italian Customer Service: Bang head on wall
My UK driving licence has finally expired. The grubby bit of paper the Italians gave me as a substitute, has also expired. My bicycle has a flat tyre.
I was told not to worry, that the temporary substitute licence had expired, as it is normal in Italy and the police will accept it is just another Italian cock up. The important thing, I was told, is to have with you the medical form, that proves you are fit to drive.
That kind of says everything there is to know about Italy.
Do you have a valid driving licence? No
Do you have cervicale? mm maybe
Links to past driving licence fiasco
Parts 4 to 349 will follow over the next 5 months, groan
Englishman in Italy 
No problem. Before long, cars will be banned from the streets of the U.K. on health & safety and pollution grounds. We’ll all have to walk/run/crawl everywhere in future. I’m just hoping that we won’t need a licence for these things. Still, it’ll help you to lose weight. In India (according to an old programme of J. Clarkson) the driving test consists of a short drive forwards and a short drive backwards. That’s it. Perhaps you could fly to India and get a licence there? Any excuse for a spot of curry!
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Cool idea, an Indian Black sheep.
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Pooor PN. My French situation promises to follow suit; the nice lady equivalent of Mr Cretino is a month late on her applications. Don’t worry; it’s only the photo that’s out of date, not your licence. As long as you don’t run over any carabinieri, you should be fine 🙂 PS I’m making flap jacks in your honour – can you smell them?
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I am so hungry, I think the diet idea was a very bad one. I went for a run on Sunday morning in a bid to lose some weight. Now it is very difficult to move around the office. I feel 98 years old. But I am 1 Kilo lighter.
And you shouldn’t be tempting me with flap jacks
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I can’t tempt you with the flapjacks, the children have already eaten them…. 😦 HTe diet will be worth it, stick at it!
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Bad kiddies, bad kiddies..
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1 kilo already? That’s amazing!
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I went for a run yesterday and now I can hardly walk 😦
I shouldn’t have told Mrs Sensible that I was on a diet, because she tuts at me if I wander to close the wine bottle.
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oh, pecora…i was adding a sensible page with license info on it and i was wondering how this was all faring for you. sigh. i think i will be heading this very direction. television-sized p-plates perhaps for you too then…
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A sensible page? I take it, it wasn’t a post about Italy then.
I think I might take up cycling
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Oh dear – the driving situation is not sounding good at all. Congratulations on the 1 kilo! Excellent.
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1 Kilo, but it is killing me, I dream of chocolate and wine
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😦 That’s not good – that must make it worse when you wake up and realise that you can’t eat it.
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Poor P.N.! But 1 Kilo is not bad at all!
Quanti vuoi perderne?
Forza! ( anche per la patente….)
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Forza!!
I think I will lose 10 kilo before I see my Italian driving licence
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Hahaha!
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🙂
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I like your post but not what is happening to you (or not happening) with your driver’s license. Congrats on losing a kilo. You should reward yourself with a glass of wine and some chocolate for every 5 kilos you lose 😉
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uffa mannaggia! guess you don’t want to emigrate to Deutschland uber alles, and try to get a licence there?.. 😦 food there is not so good like Italian food, so you might lose weight? 🙂
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They are big meat eaters in Germany. When I had a valid driving licence I used to drive there. I guess the efficient Germans would organise a licence, in the time it took you to get buck naked for their sauna.
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I am on a diet and stressed too! I had to check that google thing just to see what would come up.
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Ha ha ha, good old photoshop. There used to be a good one about French Military Victories. It used to say not found
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This is an outrage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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This is normal for Italy.
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No comment !! But a like and a deja vu experience for me 😉
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Just to make it interesting I might apply for Italian citizenship
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No way am I taking Spanish citizenship !! I may have to adopt a Spanish family 😉 60 for lunch every Sunday !! Aaarrgh !!
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Sounds like Italy
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What a quandary! I don’t envy your predicament with Italian Bureaucracy at all. If you’re lucky, you might just get your official Italian licence by 2020.
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This is true, and when it arrives I bet 5 Kilos that it will be out of date or my name will be spelt wrong.
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Côme live in Montréal. We havé à décent bureaucracy (well, as decent as hellish can be) and we have lots of Italians. You’ll feel right at home. Plus we have French. And plenty of disgruntled Anglos.
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Damn phone autocorrect. I seem to be on the french keyboard. Which is sort of ironic all things considered.
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Ha ha, I have an Italian laptop using windows in Italian language. This is fine until it goes wrong, with my small amount of Italian language the help message is next to useless.
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Is it cold?? I need warmth. I have thought of moving to Africa
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Life is full of good news, bad news, isn’t it? Good news about the kilo lost, but bad news you’re suffering on a diet (yes, buy a bike…). An Italian admin cock-up however isn’t actually news… 😀
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This is very true. I am glad someone else understands italian culture 🙂
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I think the solution is obvious. You need to make your OWN license, since the authorities are obviously in too much of an administrative crisis to do it for you. That’s what any sensible Italian would do. I’m sure I could get you a ready made fake license for about ten euros, if I start asking around a dodgy neighbourhood of Palermo. Almost everyone in Sicily does that. Nobody at all would have a driving license otherwise.
Meanwhile, I think you’re making noble efforts on the diet, but whilst waiting for me to get you a backstreet license, you’ll probably lose heaps of weight walking along the pavement thumbing lifts everywhere. Restricting your food (and, more important, booze) intake would be overkill.
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I take everything you have said on board, I also agree with you.
When you organise my ‘Palermo’ driving licence can you also organise a new Passport as that expires in 3 years.
All the best PN
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Sorry for your woes but they crack me up!
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Oh dear… but look for the silver lining… the longer you can’t drive, the longer you’ll have to walk/run/cycle everywhere, the more kilos you’ll lose! 🙂
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I will ponder that thought, while I wait for Mr Cretino to produce my licence
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While you’re pondering go for a wander… think about how annoying the whole licence scenario is and really pound the streets… you’ll burn some more calories! You see, Mr Cretino is actually helping you in your quest to lose weight and get fit! 🙂
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I got an e mail from him today, The have just received notification from London that I do exist and my licence is valid, although now expired.
I e mailed him and asked how many more days till him gives me a licence, “when it comes it comes”
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At least you know you do exist! Should we be admiring the Italian laid back way of thinking do you think?!?!
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If they were laid back any more, they would be asleep
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Heh heh 🙂
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Have a look at these devices that might just tide you over until the licence comes through… I reckon number 5 looks like fun 🙂 http://www.top10tag.com/top-10-fun-urban-rides/
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I have just found this comment in my spam bin. What were you doing in there??
I am of to have a look at your link 🙂
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5 and 8 will do. 🙂
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🙂 I like to hang out in a spam bin. It’s where I truly belong.
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I have a rummage in my spam bin to see what the best and newest offer is. At the moment they are targeting me with Viagra, Slovakian dentists and how other surgical accessories, which is a bit worrying. 😦 I didn’t think I was that old 😉
So I was really surprised to find you in my bin. Anyway how is the sandpit at the moment..? We have rain and winds in sunny Italy, I might as well be in the UK. Roll on Summer.
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The sandpit is getting proper hot. Yesterday was the first day of the summer when I stepped outside and my sunglasses instantly steamed up. The humidity is here – we’ll be +40 degrees soon… I love rain and wind, and air you can actually breathe!
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